WATCH YOUR SCHTUP

People always ask me:
"John," they sez, "what is all this YIFFING I hear everyone talking about?"

And I tell them:
"IT'S FROM MARS."

And then they never ask me questions ever again.

Do you have a question for Uncle John?

BRANNED FORM THE FANDOM

I AM GOING TO START A LIST
OF PEOPLE I THINK SHOULD BE BRANNED FROM FURRY FANDOM

That is to say they need more bran in their diet.

Because otherwise they are CONSTIPITATED and GRUMPY.

Nobody likes grumpy grumps.

LUMPY LUMPS. the lumpy dance here's your chance to get more fiber <3

MOAR

INTRODUCTING MY ALL NEW TRIED AND TRUE 12-STEP PORGRAM FOR GOING UP STEPS:

STEP 1: Put foot on step!
STEP 2: Lift yourself up!
STEP 3: Projectile VOMIT, all over your SHOES!
STEP 4: Start DANCING!
STEP 5: Put other foot on next step!
STEP 6: Now you're GETTING IT! (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!)
STEP 7: Buy a silver automatic foot massagenator! INVEST in BEES!
STEP 8: Projectile VOMIT again! Catch it in your MOUTH this time!
STEP 9: DO NOT FALL DOWN STEPS LIKE TUMBLES.
STEP 8: Oh no I tripped, back to repeat step 8.
STEP 10: You can do this. Believe in your DREAMS and they will come TRUE.
STEP 11: Pretend you a opera singer. VOMIT long and loud. In front of the CLERGY.
STEP 12: You are SUCCESSFUL in CLIMBING STEPS!

CONGRATITULATIONS!